1. I am so lucky to have parents who valued so highly the person I was and am. It didn't matter what I was trying to do, the 'stage' I was in, how much trouble I was or wasn't, I always knew that I was the single most important thing to them. They struggled with money at times, with relationships, and with life, but still I knew I was prized and loved. I so want to pass that on to my children. I wonder sometimes, when I see kids who so obviously don't value their own self-worth, or that of the people around them, if it's because they were never shown how much they actually meant. Or maybe they didn't mean that much to their parents at all. That makes me sad.
2. I hold all my friends at arms-length. Even my so-called 'best friends' - the close circle who I spend the most time with. Even my husband. I have surface relationships. I'm fun most of the time, funny (always the one to crack a joke), laid back, generous... but when it comes to sharing the stuff that goes on deep down in me, I'm out of there. I'm sure that one day when I finally muster up the courage to get some counselling, it's all going to come out, and I'll end up a shaking, vulnerable mess (in fact, I think that's what I'm most scared of). And maybe then I'll be able to reach in and really trust people. I was driving home by myself last night, and was feeling like ringing every one of my friends and apologising for the crap shallowness that I offer sometimes. I love my friends, and I'm a pretty good one most of the time. I just don't share me.
Just what I've been thinking about.
On a lighter note, I've been doing pretty well with Rhonna's {21 Challenge}. The idea is to pick a habit you want to make or break, and DO IT for 21 days. And create a daily art journal to track your thoughts, ideas and progress. I chose the habit of spending time with God every day - reading the bible and doing a daily devotion. I've used the quotes from the last {21 Challenge} to find relevant bible verses, writing a devotion relating the quote and the verse and the habit, and then art journalling using the quotes and the verses. I have been getting up earlier, and have had time to do the devotion and the art journal before I go to work. I'm only on day 3, but I'm pretty proud of myself so far! I'm loving how it's showing me how creativity can be such a great prompt to change your life, and how relevant God's word is in my life.
Hmmmm... That was still a bit deep. Here's my pages so far (they are, by the way, 6x6 pages. The quotes are printed directly from Rhonna's blog):
Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Totally NOT deep: I'm addicted to Big Brother. I'm slightly ashamed of that. I have never watched any of the other series. But I stupidly watched the first one of this, and even though I think that every one in the house is mildly stupid and completely narcicistic, I can't help watching. It's like watching a car crash. And I seriously laughed for five minutes when I found out that David was gay. Poor Camille. LOL.
AND the final of Biggest Loser is on tonight, and I stupidly planned to meet a friend for coffee. ARGH! I'm hoping that the cafe that we're meeting at is showing it on their big screen! Then I'll have to rush home to see Amazing Race. I'm a sucker for reality tv at the moment.
Gotta go pay some bills. I think the tax department are MAD with us. Oops.
4 comments:
I love your journal pages Tam, and I love the Bible verses you've used :o)
And I am also a huge fan of the page in your last post!!!
Your journal is working for you Tam thats for sure.
Love what you have been thinking about, life is too short not to be happy and to feel loved and cherished and to make others that you care about feel that too.
Have a great week and hope that work isnt too crazy for you.
Don't be afraid to get deep sometimes Tam. You're a great girl, and we all have our flaws and soft-spots. I just hope that through time and God's love, you can come to share more of that stuff that you need to.
Love your art journal. I'm heading off to check out Rhonna's challenge. I need something like that to keep my focussed - and maybe to harness some of my creativity that I know is hiding back there somewhere.
Take care, have a great week :)
Nat xx
Hey Tam, well done for putting yourself out there, that's a courageous thing to do! I know I haven't met you yet, although we have chatted lol ;o) and I think you're just awesome!
Speaking of awesome, these pages are just magnificent! Gorgeous and very inspiring!
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