Worry

I probably shouldn't be blogging right now. I've got way too much on my mind. I'll probably just delete it cos it will be such a crazy mash-up of stuff... but, what else is this blog for, I guess...

Just been My Space hopping. Makes me feel old. Really old. My Space is for single people with lots of friends. I am neither. I'm not trendy, or social, or into movies or parties or dancing or drugs or drinking or looking for love, sex or more friends. LOL. OK, maybe more friends would be ok, but I don't want to find them on My Space.

No offence if you have a My Space. I'm sure it's nice.

I want to move. I want a house to grow in. We can't afford to move. But I really want to move...

Been at the hospital today. Roger's uncle is not so good. He's gone from a completely with-it, on-the-ball man to a swollen, puffy, routine-driven, drugged patient.

Nanna was good today. Not so good last night with a lot of pain. They have told her to expect the worst. Which is lung cancer which has already spread to her bones. The worry and sadness of that is sitting in the bottom of my stomach. I worry for her, for my Poppy and for my mum, who isn't ready to lose her mum.

My nanna isn't an old nanna. She was playing golf up until a couple of years ago, and was an avid bowler up until this happened. I grew up seeing her 4 or more times a week. I inherited a pseudo-English accent from spending so much time with her. She slipped me chocolate bars, then money for petrol, now dollars for Diesel's piggy bank. I really wanted Diesel to know her.

That's enough.

Catching up...

Much of that to do! Apologies to all the delurkers - LOL. You go and delurk, and then I disappear. Nothing personal!! Just been having some time away from the computer. Priorities had to take priority for a bit. And I think my catch up requires dot points:

• my nanna is in hospital with likely lung cancer and a broken vertebra in her neck
• Roger's uncle is a couple of rooms down from her dying of mesothelioma (from asbestos exposure) - see what I mean about priorities?!
• my little boy is growing taller, bigger and cuter all the time - 5 month letter is written, just need to resize some pics to post
• two months until my sister's wedding - she finally found a dress, and we bought fabric for the bridesmaid's dresses on Friday - can you believe that she is MAKING them?!
• I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but would love to lose another 3 kilos before the wedding!
• have done four Tupperware parties (hehehe - still can't believe I'm a Tupperware lady) and love earning money for doing practically nothing!
• having dilemmas about what to do about our ugly house
• apparently I don't scrap anymore, however I am doing Stacy Julian's Library of Memories class on Big Picture Scrapbooking to try to inspire me
• Rog has gone down the street for fish and chips
• we put in Diesel's big boy car seat today to replace the capsule that he had seriously grown out of
  
• I was tagged by the gorgeous Rachie:

A - Available/Single? Nope

B - Best Friend? Mel, my fellow mummy, scrapper and obsessive compulsive ikea lover

C - Cake or Pie? Cake if it's cheesecake, pie if it's pecan

D - Drink Of Choice? Coffee

E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? Sadly, the computer

F - Favorite Color? Currently orange, although green is a long time fave

G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? sour worms - yum!

H - Home or Homesick? Home, please.

I - Indulgence? Going out for dinner

J - January Or February? February - get me OUT of this crazy holiday season

K - Kids & Their Names? my crazy, dizzy, Diesel boy (5 months)

L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Passion, faith, friends and chocolate

M - Marriage date? 14 April 2002

N - Number Of Siblings? 1 sister - 3 years younger than me

O - Oranges Or Apples? Ugh, fruit.

P - Phobias/Fears? Enclosed spaces

Q - Favorite Quote: "If there was one thing she learned, it was that there is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one" Jill Churchill

R - Real Hair Color? Dark brown - and I'm there until I can't keep up with plucking out the greys

S - Season? Spring

T - Tag 3 or 4 people? Ooh - Sandi, if she hasn't done it, Natti if she hasn't done it...

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I had my nose pierced in London, and it features in my wedding photos

V - Vegetable you don’t like? There is practically nothing I won't eat

W - Worst Habit? Definitely procrastination and laziness.

X - X-rays You’ve Had? Jaw, wrist

Y - Your Favorite Food? Fresh seafood

Z - Zodiac Sign? Cancer

Will post D's 5 month letter in the next couple of days. We are currently working on pulling back his bedtime. He used to sleep 9.30 until 6.30. Last night we tried 8.45 and he slept until 7.30 this morning. Tonight he went down at 8.30. So nice to have that bit of baby-free time before having to go to bed. Or perhaps it will be nice to just go to bed early!

Delurk.

Please.

Just

say

hi!

I don't bite.

Blinked

... and missed my 200th post.

Had a busy and exhausting weekend. Managed to fit a quick swim in on Saturday. D loves water, and I want to get him in the pool as much as possible. Me and Rog both grew up with 'water' holidays, so no doubt we will be doing the same with him.

Nothing else to report. I'm actually quite exhausted. Got lots to do. So might as well procrastinate for just a second with this quiz from Raylene's blog:

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

Gave birth, cooked a roast chicken, met some online scrapping buddies

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Just checked the archives. Declutter the house - negative. Cut down on commitments - positive. Read lots of parenting books - ummm, getting there. Decrease obsession with scrapbooking - positive - to the point where I have lost my mojo. Get off the computer - ummmmm, negative. LOL.

I need to cement mine for this year. Probably more of the same.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, apart from me, I witnessed the birth of my friend's gorgeous daughter. Plus, three of my other close friends had babies. Babies, babies everywhere this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My hubby's Nanna.

5.What countries did you visit?
Sadly, none.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Motivation - LOL (stole that from Raylene - but so true!) A beautiful, sexy camera (ahhhh, got it!) A waist.

7. What dates from 2006 remain etched in your memory and why?

August 20 - 22 - my labour and the birth of my baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Living through 24 hours of labour and birthing a healthy baby boy with no drugs :)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Neglecting my friends.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Apart from falling apart during my pregnancy, nope.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My beautiful, sexy camera.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Sheesh. Hard one. Some of my online friends who I admire greatly.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The American government. Saddam. Racist Australians.

14. Where did most of your money go?

On the house.

Personally... probably coffee.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Figuring out how to download Grey's Anatomy from the internet.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

Fix You - Coldplay.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

happier, thinner, POORER!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent time with friends, exercised.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

um, yeah. Sat in THIS chair, LOL.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

We spent it with each side of the family.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Grey's Anatomy. Snap.

22. What was the best book you read?

Didn't do a whole lot of reading, but probably Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

23. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2006?
Coldplay became my new favourite band. Had never really discovered their true greatness before.

24. What did you want and get?

My beautiful, sexy camera. A baby boy.

25. What did you want and not get?

A clean house.

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I sat around being fat and uncomfortable. My mum made me dinner. I was 27.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Anything that fit over a huge baby bump was good. Jeans continued to be an everyday necessity. I really need to sort my style...

28. What kept you sane?

The internet. Friends that I can say anything to. My mum.

29. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't do politics.

30. Who was the best new person you met?
My baby boy :o)

Stretch

I get Ali Edward's e-zine emailed to me (that woman is freaking amazing!) and have been reading the most recent one this morning. She wrote about choosing a word for her year to meditate on, inspire her and drive her in her life and creativity. Last year she chose the word 'play'. As in, play with her son, play with her creativity... you get the idea. She encouraged the readers to choose their own word for this year - the one that pops into your head, whether it makes sense yet or not.

The first word that came to me was 'stretch'. I can totally see where that one is heading. My first year as a mum, new challenges, taking on Tupperware, wanting to live more purposefully. All about the stretch. Hopefully I can scrap that one today.

Anyone else got a word for their year? Let me know.

My Big Picture Scrapbooking 'Library of Memories' class starts today. Mel is coming over, and we're going to look at it together. And hopefully do some scrapping too. Better go clear a path to the dining table.

Um... yeah...

So, I still don't like New Years. Next year I'm going to send Rog out and I'll stay at home and go to bed early.

We went out for dinner - Chinese - and had horrible food and worse service. Left before the end of the banquet as it had already taken 3.5 hours. Had to get the kids home. Went back to Mel's and played Cranium - which was near impossible with three boys and one girl who had had a few too many celebratory drinks.

We watched the fireworks on tv, and toasted with some yummy champagne, but as soon as we did the countdown, I felt like crap. I don't know why, but it happens every year. I think it's partly the whole anti-climax of it all. It really is just another day. I know that sounds a bit bah-humbug of me, but I just can't get excited at 12am about the start of another day.

I just want to get back to normal again.

Happy New Year. No really. I do mean it. I just don't enjoy it.