I've been thinking

I've been thinking a lot about my blog. Obviously I haven't been blogging, but I've been wondering whether to keep it up. I'm not so good at the regular blogging thing, but I think it is invaluable for recording some stuff that I would no doubt otherwise forget. Which reminds me, I need to do a letter for my adorable boy who is 10 months old today. Sick, miserable, teething and 10 months old. Poor chicken.

Poor me too. Me and Rog are both sick. So it's one miserable household.

I had been planning on working on my Masters entry tonight. I haven't really started, and there's only 20 or so days left. I was so determined to actually enter this year, after thinking about it for the past two. But something way more fun popped up today, and I'll be busy working on some other things. Stay tuned for more info on that!

Anyways, the moral of the story is that my blog will still be here, and I will make an effort to post more than monthly. For my sake. I love that my blog friends read this, and I love that I have formed great friendships through this blog, but I am not going to write for recognition or for comments. But please comment if you pop by so we can be friends :)

I am now going to take my achy, snotty, sorry self to bed and keep crocheting my blanket! Good night!

some thoughts

I am disappointed that the new Basic Grey ranges are all very girly. I usually love BG, but the new ranges didn't inspire me at all. Lots of pink around at the moment. I love pink, but considering I live with three males (that includes the cat), pink doesn't work for me much.

I am on a mission to find the perfect scone recipe. Made a batch last week from the PWMU cookbook and they were dismal. Anyone got a great recipe for me?

Roger cleaned my stove top with stainless steel cleaner on the weekend. It took off all the markings, and the nice satin finish. Sigh.

Having difficulty getting to bed before midnight lately. Just not tired. Doesn't really work when I'm up at 6.30 to do a feed.

Have been buying D lots of CU-UTE clothes for winter. Must stop that and get some things for me!

Three weeks til my sister's wedding. Bridal shower this weekend - which I am organising - eek! She still hasn't made the bridesmaid's dresses... Big eek.

K... got things to do. My to-d0 list is out of control!

Blinked

... and missed my 200th post.

Had a busy and exhausting weekend. Managed to fit a quick swim in on Saturday. D loves water, and I want to get him in the pool as much as possible. Me and Rog both grew up with 'water' holidays, so no doubt we will be doing the same with him.

Nothing else to report. I'm actually quite exhausted. Got lots to do. So might as well procrastinate for just a second with this quiz from Raylene's blog:

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

Gave birth, cooked a roast chicken, met some online scrapping buddies

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Just checked the archives. Declutter the house - negative. Cut down on commitments - positive. Read lots of parenting books - ummm, getting there. Decrease obsession with scrapbooking - positive - to the point where I have lost my mojo. Get off the computer - ummmmm, negative. LOL.

I need to cement mine for this year. Probably more of the same.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, apart from me, I witnessed the birth of my friend's gorgeous daughter. Plus, three of my other close friends had babies. Babies, babies everywhere this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My hubby's Nanna.

5.What countries did you visit?
Sadly, none.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Motivation - LOL (stole that from Raylene - but so true!) A beautiful, sexy camera (ahhhh, got it!) A waist.

7. What dates from 2006 remain etched in your memory and why?

August 20 - 22 - my labour and the birth of my baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Living through 24 hours of labour and birthing a healthy baby boy with no drugs :)

9. What was your biggest failure?

Neglecting my friends.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Apart from falling apart during my pregnancy, nope.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My beautiful, sexy camera.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Sheesh. Hard one. Some of my online friends who I admire greatly.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The American government. Saddam. Racist Australians.

14. Where did most of your money go?

On the house.

Personally... probably coffee.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Figuring out how to download Grey's Anatomy from the internet.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

Fix You - Coldplay.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

happier, thinner, POORER!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent time with friends, exercised.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

um, yeah. Sat in THIS chair, LOL.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

We spent it with each side of the family.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Grey's Anatomy. Snap.

22. What was the best book you read?

Didn't do a whole lot of reading, but probably Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

23. What was your greatest musical discovery of 2006?
Coldplay became my new favourite band. Had never really discovered their true greatness before.

24. What did you want and get?

My beautiful, sexy camera. A baby boy.

25. What did you want and not get?

A clean house.

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I sat around being fat and uncomfortable. My mum made me dinner. I was 27.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Anything that fit over a huge baby bump was good. Jeans continued to be an everyday necessity. I really need to sort my style...

28. What kept you sane?

The internet. Friends that I can say anything to. My mum.

29. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't do politics.

30. Who was the best new person you met?
My baby boy :o)

Um... yeah...

So, I still don't like New Years. Next year I'm going to send Rog out and I'll stay at home and go to bed early.

We went out for dinner - Chinese - and had horrible food and worse service. Left before the end of the banquet as it had already taken 3.5 hours. Had to get the kids home. Went back to Mel's and played Cranium - which was near impossible with three boys and one girl who had had a few too many celebratory drinks.

We watched the fireworks on tv, and toasted with some yummy champagne, but as soon as we did the countdown, I felt like crap. I don't know why, but it happens every year. I think it's partly the whole anti-climax of it all. It really is just another day. I know that sounds a bit bah-humbug of me, but I just can't get excited at 12am about the start of another day.

I just want to get back to normal again.

Happy New Year. No really. I do mean it. I just don't enjoy it.

Farewell

... to 2006. Obviously this has been a big year for me. Big changes. Lots of excitement. As much as I hate change, I get bored without it. So I don't know how to feel about this year. Am I going to get bored of being a mum? I know I won't get tired of my baby, but will the whole 'mum' thing get to me? I hope not.

As I have said before, New Year's Eve is one of my least favourite times of the year. Probably because everyone is expected to have a great time, and from my experiences, great parties aren't planned, they happen. I'm happy to go to bed before midnight and welcome the New Year in the morning feeling fresh and well-rested! But I'll try, for everyone else's sake, to stay up, watch the fireworks, and toast in the New Year with a glass of champagne and good intentions.

Lots of good intentions this year. As usual.

Happy New Year, blog friends. Have a good one.

Making me happy

• Amber Skolnik's scrappin'
• Reading Rach's blog - you always put a smile on my face, sweet girlie :o)
  
• Making dinner for my parents
• My little boy finally falling asleep
• That it's still another two days until New Year's Eve (my least fave time of year)
• Not putting on any weight over Christmas
• Thinking about going to bed
• Having clean hair
• Drinking tea out of a new cup and saucer
• Having wine with dinner and feeling relaxed
• Being loved
  

Break

So, obviously, I've been having a break. And, actually, I think I need more of a break. Despite not blogging, and being less active on some of the forums I frequent, I've still been spending as much time on the computer (especially thanks to Qwyzzle - up to level 96 - and similar puzzles - I'm a sucker for brainteasers). Oh, and add to that the time it takes me to find episodes of Grey's Anatomy to download, and then watch. I am so in love with that show - it has me in tears almost every time.

Anyway, my point is... well, I'm not really sure. I guess I'm still feeling a bit out of control - but then again, it IS Christmas, and that seems to be the point of Christmas these days. My house is a mess. I mean, it's clean, but my pantry needs arranging, our 'study' is in disarray, there's junk in my room that doesn't need to be there. I feel like if I could organise my house, my life would feel better. LOL. I am probably fooling myself.

I feel like it all came to a head tonight. I went to a rehearsal for our church's big carols event. I'm singing in the choir. I left D at home with Rog, so knew I'd have to be back in time for his next feed. Anyhow, I got to the rehearsal, and it was quite obvious that choir rehearsal wasn't going to begin for a good hour, and then would probably go for a good two hours. So, I'd have to leave before we got into it. So... I got completely stressed, and upset that I was letting people down because I couldn't be there. I went straight home since it wasn't worth staying, and cried all the way home.

After some soul searching in the car, I realised that I was upset because I was expecting too much from myself. How silly. Not upset that I couldn't do everything, but upset that I expected myself to be able to do everything. Argh. Is that a girl thing?

I was also upset that I was feeling guilty for making decisions that I feel are best for my baby. I choose not to bottle feed D at all, and when that inconveniences me or other people, I often feel guilty. Why is it not enough to be a mum? Why do I feel like I have to be or do so much else? See, I'm angry that I'm angry at myself! I think I need a therapist.

Phew.

Spending too much time on the computer is also leeching my creativity, and I haven't scrapped much lately. I have, however, reached the final round of the search for a design team member comp over at Scrapboxx. I feel a certain loyalty to Scrapboxx because it is the first site I found when I started scrapping. Without it, I probably would never have got into scrapping like I did. I was truly addicted to the forum for a good few months, but now mostly lurk. The competition is anonymous, but I don't mind 'outing' myself. I figure that if people are going to vote for me, or not vote for me because of who I am, or am not... well, I've got no problem with that. It won't kill me if I don't get on the team. I'll be sad - noone likes to lose - but I'm sure I'll get over it. I'm not expecting to win... and I've got bets on who will!

And my last bit of news is that I'm now a Tupperware lady - ROTFL!!!! I've gotta admit that I never saw myself as a party plan kind of chick, but a bit of extra cash would be really nice to relieve the pressure on the budget, and I don't want to go back to proper work for a good while yet, and, well, I love Tupperware, so it all just happened! I start early next year... so if anyone knows anyone in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne who wants to have a TW party, point them in my direction! LOL. I still can't believe I actually signed up! I do like the free diary though...

Um, well, congrats if you read all of my dribble. I'll leave you with a layout as a reward :o)


And if I don't get around to blogging before Christmas, Merry Christmas girls! I could never have dreamt of finding such amazing people on the internet!!! I really appreciate the comments, emails and chats, and hope to get to know you all even better next year. Love yas!

Ummmmmmm

OK. So I upgraded to Beta Blogger. And I think that was a mistake. I seem to not be able to comment on some other blogger blogs - so I'm not ignoring you, I'm just struggling with the technology!

I am feeling mildly better today. Didn't get that much sleep - Amazing Race started again last night, and it went LATE. I also managed to stress Rog out about the money situation last night, which I *shouldn't* do, because he gets way more stressed than I do. But when he gets totally beside himself and stressed, all of a sudden I feel ok about it all. Wierd. I definitely perform best when everything is falling apart!

I managed to finish my SAM Elsie challenges for this week, but I am *so* not happy with them. I feel like I'd just found my style, and was spitting out layouts I loved all over the place, and then I started trying a different style and it all fell apart. Must try to scrap tonight and get back my mojo.

No plans for the weekend. Which is nice, because I have a feeling that things are going to get MAD soon with Christmas stuff and the like. There's a heap of people I want to have over for dinner, too. Love dinner parties! And love them even more in summer! K... off to do my to-do list for today. So much to do!